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DL Ep. 15: The False Promise of Desire - Our Addiction to a More Ideal Future

Recognize the cycle of craving and learn to savor what’s already here

We spend so much of life chasing the next moment… and missing the one we’re in.

This week on Dharma Lab, we dig into the neuroscience of wanting vs. liking, explore how to shift from chasing the next thing to savoring what’s here, and discuss how awe can show up in the smallest, most ordinary moments.

Episode Highlights:

A big part of the conversation centers on two quiet assumptions that shape so much of how we live.

The first is the belief that chasing what we want will finally make us happy—that fulfilling our cravings will give us the contentment we’re seeking. But both research and experience show something different: craving mostly fuels more craving, not more enjoyment.

The second is a more subtle fear—that if we stop chasing, we’ll miss out on something essential. We worry we’ll lose momentum, fall behind, or miss our chance at a better, safer, more successful future. That fear keeps us leaning toward the next moment instead of inhabiting the one we’re actually in.

From there, we explore what does work: orienting toward liking, savoring, and appreciation. And we talk about how awe doesn’t require redwoods or mountaintops—it’s available in the smallest, most ordinary moments when we shift our attention. A slow email sync on a plane becomes a moment of wonder. Leaves on the ground become a doorway to gratitude. Even difficult interactions reveal something unexpectedly human when viewed with fresh eyes.

We’d love to hear from you. What’s one small moment of everyday awe you noticed recently—something ordinary that felt extraordinary when you paid attention? Share your reflections in the comments.

Warmly,

Cort + Richie


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Podcast Chapter List

00:00 – Intro and The Addiction to the Future
Why we chase the next moment and miss the one we’re in.

00:42 – Wanting vs. Liking
A coffee moment sparks a discussion on craving, satisfaction, and the brain.

03:24 – The Neuroscience of Reward
How wanting and liking diverge—and why more craving often means less joy.

05:54 – Craving, Dissatisfaction, and the Buddhist Lens
Teachings on why craving leads away from happiness, not toward it.

10:11 – Living for the Next Vacation
How expectations shape dissatisfaction and reset our baseline.

11:28 – Savoring What’s Here
Orienting the mind toward what nourishes us in the present moment.

12:48 – Awe in Everyday Life
How awe isn’t limited to nature—it’s available in ordinary moments.

13:56 – Awe on an Airplane
A slow Wi-Fi connection turns into a moment of wonder.

16:08 – The Dalai Lama’s “Happiest Moment”
A story about presence, abundance, and contentment.

17:21 – When Slowing Down Feels Risky
Exploring the instinctive fear that if we stop chasing, we’ll miss out or lose what we need.

18:35 – Introducing These Skills Early
Why learning to savor early in life can reshape development.

19:02 – Daily Rituals of Appreciation
Richie shares the practices that ground his sense of abundance.

21:00 – Finding Wholesomeness in Difficulty
How perspective can shift even in moments of stress or conflict.

22:14 – Expressing Appreciation Out Loud
A simple practice that spreads connection and belonging.

23:29 – Flourishing Is Contagious
How small acts of appreciation ripple outward.

23:40 – Closing Reflections
Savoring, contentment, and breaking the cycle of craving.

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